Teddy Bellamy On Trial: OurFamilyOfHellraisers pt2
by Zerousy
Summary: Kind of a sequal to OUR FAMILY OF HELLRIASERS. Basically, it's just Alice and Myra at it again ruining Pinhead's life lol.


**Disclaimer:** Don't know Rammstein, Don't own Hellraiser, make no profit from this. Purely fiction.

**AN:** the setting is just the inside of Alice's room in hell. If you've read my friend's/co-author's story "Why So Serious?" you'll understand what it looks like. She's Squee Page 394 and she's easy to find. Again, Alice's room is just plain MESSY BEYOND messy. Aka, a junk yard. Lol. Also, no offence to gay or bisexual people.

Title: Teddy Bellamy On Trial

**Myra (slowly):** Alice, give him to me.

**Alice (screams):** NO! I wont let you do it!

**Myra:** It has to be done. He's committed a crime and he needs to pay.

**Alice:** YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!

**Pinhead walks in. Looks at his annoying daughters in and wonders why the hell they're yelling at 3:43 in the morning. Looks at what Alice is holding.**

**Pinhead:** What _are_ you girls yelling about? Don't you know I need my beauty sleep?

**Myra (looks at Pinhead):** THIS ISN'T FOR YOUR EYES!

**Pinhead:** HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!

**Alice:** Nuh-uh! It's sissy's line now you one ugly mother fucker.

**Myra:** Alice, that's the wrong movie. This is HELLRAISER. Not Predator.

**Alice starts crying**.

**Alice (in tears):** WHY CAN'T WE BE IN PREDATOR? I NEVER GET TO HAVE ANY FUN! I HATE YOU DADDY!

**Pinhead (getting annoyed):** WILL YOU GIRLS SHUT UP! AND-HEY! Why do you hate ME now? I though-

**Myra:** Shut up you piece of scum! Oh, here's a clue for you if you can't figure out what we're trying to tell you. Alice, please recite the phrase from The Little Rascals, would you?

**Alice puts the hidden object in her pants where Myra doesn't want to get. She takes a big breath.**

**Alice:** Dear Daddy Pinnyface-fuckhead, I hate your stinking guts.

**Pinhead (confused):** What? Where the hell is this going?

**Myra smacks him in the back of his head.**

**Myra:** Don't interrupt her! Continue.

**Alice:** You make me vomit! You're scum between my toes! Love, Alphalpha.

**Myra smacks her hand over her forehead.**

**Myra:** You're supposed to change the ending.

**Angelique walks in and goes straight to Alice's bed. Sits down. Looks at Pinhead**.

**Angelique:** Pinhead we haven't done it in a while. Lets do it now.

**Myra:** MOTHER! NOT NOW! AND GO TO YOUR OWN ROOM!

**Pinhead (getting fearful of Angelique):** GET AWAY FROM ME WOMAN! I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!

**He runs out of the room to go hide. Angelique runs after him in her pink high heeled boots. Today she's decided to look like a human whore with hooker boots. She's practically wearing nothing. Pinhead fears her more than anything. Even heaven.**

**Myra turns back to Alice to continue business. Alice clutches the small object in her hands.**

**Myra:** Alice you have to give him to me. His suffering will be legendary. He needs to pay.

**Alice:** BUT SISSY HE DIDN'T MEAN TO- Oh hi Till!

**She waves as Till Lindemann from Rammstein walks into her room. He scratches his head **

**wondering how the hell he got in, well, wherever this place is.**

**Till:** Uh…Alice, where am I? Oh, hallo Myra.

**Myra:** Hi Till. You're just in time to put some sense into my diabolical twin. She needs to hand him over so I can punish him.

**Alice runs over to Till and climbs on his back. He just looks up at her confused.**

**Alice:** Till don't let her take him! He's innocent!

**Myra:** She's lying Till! He's as innocent as Doom's soul!

**Christoph Doom Schneider walks into the room because he heard his name being mentioned.**

**Doom:** Did someone call me?

**Myra looks at Doom and wonders what the hell he's doing in hell, completely ignoring the fact that she didn't think the same thing with Till.**

**Myra:** No, it's just a figure of speech.

**Till:** Don't look at me! I don't even know how I got here. Doom, if you put me here I'm gunna smash you.

**Alice:** OOO! Like the Hulk? Like Hulk Hogan? He's cool. But not as cool as the Undertaker. But if you're talking about The Hulk that turns green he's not as badass as the Undertaker.

**Myra smiles at the mention of green.**

**Myra (happy):** I love green. Like Cell!

**Alice:** You're not allowed to like Cell no more sissy! He went back inside the TV where he belonged and then got blowdeded up.

**The girls continue talking/arguing amongst themselves while Till and Doom look at each other.**

**Till:** Why am I here Doom?

**Doom (thinks quickly):** …uh it's Richard's fault!

**Till:** and why the hell is it Richard's fault? He's not the one that's half cenobite like you! YOU DID PUT ME HERE DIDN'T YOU! You're trying to put me in my own personal hell for smashing your drumsticks aren't you!

**Doom:** …uh it's Richard's fault!

**Myra (looks at Doom):** How the hell can it be Richard's fault? Is it because he's TOO pretty?

**Richard Kruspe pops his head in the doorway and look at Myra with a death glare.**

**Richard:** STOP CALLING ME PRETTY!

**Alice:** But Richard you ARE pretty! You're my bestest girlfriend!

**Richard:** I'm NOT A GIRL!

**Doom:** But you ARE a pretty boy.

**Till:** Yeah, you know you're a faggot Reesh.

**Myra:** You're gay Reesh? I never knew that!

**Richard (shouts):** I'M NOT GAY! And for your information, Doom's the one that's gay!

**Doom:** I AM NOT! I LIKE PUSSY!

**Alice:** So do I! It's a good song. You guys should write another like that.

**Everyone else falls over anime style with one foot in the air and flat on their backs. Then they get up and brush the dust off each other, creating a dust cloud.**

**Richard:** If you liked pussy you wouldn't be such a chicken shit and just ask Myra out already. So YOU MUST BE GAY because I haven't seen you with a woman in a long time!

**Doom:** Actually, since you wear so much damn make up I consider you a woman, and plus, you're a faggot anyway so I win.

***insert random arguments here about hair products, Muse, hell and popeye's chicken***

**In another part of hell where Pinhead's hiding from Angelique where no one goes: Frank's hell/room (current number 2398 since Leviathan likes to fuck with everybody and change the numbers around every week).**

**Frank:** What the hell are you doing in here at 3:45 AM? I'm not scheduled for a torture until at least 7 AM.

**Pinhead (ducks under Frank's bed):** HIDE ME! THE WH*RE IS AFTER ME!

**Frank (excited):** WHORE? WHERE? *look* I don't see no whore.

**Loud knocking sounds come from Frank's door. He opens it. Holy water is instantly splashed on his face, burning his flesh off.**

**Frank (screaming):** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!

**Flake Lorenz and Oliver Riedel look at the bottles in their hands. They look at each other. They look back at the bottles.**

**Olli (thoughtful):** I thought your Warlock brother Max said holy water would make him combust?

**Flake (scratches head):** It usually does.

**Both sniff the bottles. It's vodka.**

**Flake & Olli (together):** Paul.

**Olli:** If he gave us the vodka that means he...

**Flake:** Yup, he's got the holy water.

**Olli:** Paul + holy water in hell + the chatterbeast = ?

**Flake:** A very big mess and a very mad Chatterer since he's the maid.

**Angelique trots by, her skirt barely covering her ass. Both of the guy's cover their eyes in fear of looking at her. Anyone who sleeps with her regrets it more than anything. Its best to just ignore temptation.**

**Angelique:** Have you seen the girls' father?

**Flake:** uh…no ma'am.

**Angelique (see's Frank's flesh melting away): **who gave him vodka? *spots Pinhead hiding under Frank's bed* OH! THERE YOU ARE DARLING! *runs after him* Come here my sweet boyfriend!

**Pinhead runs out of the room screaming.**

**Pinhead (runs away faster):** I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!

**Angelique chases after him. Flake and Olli look at Frank.**

**Olli (smiles):** we should poke him with a stick.

**Flake (grins):** I know a cool trick that involves a knife, a leaf and lots of this guy's blood.

**They go gather sticks a knife and a leaf to prepare for some 'activities'. Paul Landers on the other hand is chasing Chatterbeast around with Till's cleaver and some holy water.**

**Paul:** COME ON! I KNOW HOW TO OPERATE! Channard showed me how to use a knife!

**Chatterbeast runs into Alice's room and climbs on top her, whom is still on top of Till. Paul trips over Richard's left shoe (without touching it) who is trying to strangle Doom for calling him a girl.**

**Till:** ALICE! Get your dog off me!

**Alice (shouts):** SIT BOY!

**Till gets slammed down into the ground by her command.**

**Till:** hey! I said get the dog off me! Not sit me down!

**Myra (shouts Raiden style):** ENOUGH!

**A creepy silence follows. Crickets chirp. Everyone proceeds to have a cup of tea at Alice's little tea party she has set up for her dolls.**

**Alice:** Doom, would you like one lump? Or twelve?

**Doom:** Can't I have five?

**Alice (scary deep voice):** NO! That's MY number! You can't have it!

**Doom:** Ok! I'll take one.

**Myra:** Lets get back to business. Now Alice, you need to fork him over, its time.

**Paul:** Time for what? Why are we in hell again?

**Richard (taking a sip of tea):** Alice called saying something about some guy named Teddy. She brought us here.

**Alice (remembers):** Oh yeah, I forgot to save some for Olli and Flake.

**Takes everyone's cups and pours some tea into two new cups. Gives cups back.**

**Alice:** ANYWHATNOT, Myra wants to hurt Teddy Bellamy. You guys are the jerky. So start acting like jerky.

**Paul:** Don't you mean jury?

**Alice: **Jury, jerky, potato chip, it's all the same to me. OLLI GET IN HERE NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL TAKE AWAY ALL OF THE FOOD YOU LOVE! AND FLAKE IF YOU DON'T GET HERE NOW I'LL CALL YOUR MOMMY!

**Olli loves food so he runs from the other side of the labyrinth to Alice's room in .4 seconds by foo powder. Flake arrives instantly using his warlock powers because he fears his mother. She's worse than Angelique. They take a seat on each side of Alice.**

**Myra (sips her tea):** As I was saying, Alice needs to hand me my victim. It's time for punishment and justice must be served.

**Doom (eats a crumpet):** So who exactly is the victim? Was he a former lover of Alice's who's soul you've turned into a credit-card and want to chop up?

**Myra smacks him in the back of his head, making the crumpet from his mouth fly right into Chatterbeast's mouth choking him. He passes out without anyone noticing.**

**Myra:** Don't talk with a mouthful! It's rude!

**Doom (head down in shame):** As you wish.

**Till (looks at Alice):** Can you please show us who the victim is, at least please?

**Alice:** uh…no.

**Everyone but Alice and Myra fall over anime style. They get back up in their seats the right way.**

**Flake:** Well why not? If we're the potato chip- I mean jury we have a right to know.

**Alice:** what's the passwords?

**Till (confused):** passwords? Why are there passwords? I don't like passwords.

**Doom:** That's because you're a faggot.

**Till:** No I'm not.

**Myra (flawlessly):** flunkymonkeybellafacacions and LeeLooNeckAhLeM anNahKneeNikChy Ek BotaSeBot.

**Alice (happily):** BINGO WAS HER NAME OH! Okay.

**Richard:** what kind of fucked up passwords are those? NO ONE CAN GUESS THEM!

**Till:** Oh shut up you fairy.

**Alice pulls out a brand new very soft black teddy bear. Everyone looks at Alice and Myra.**

**Paul:** THAT'S WHY YOU BROUGHT US TO HELL? A STUFFED BEAR? WHAT KIND OF CRIME COULD HE POSSIBLY HAVE COMMITED?

**Myra (calmly):** His crime is for being too cute.

**Alice:** He's graceful! Delicate!

**Myra:** He has to go.

**Everyone falls over anime style. *3 days later* Pinhead is hiding under a rock.**

**Pinhead (thinks):** She'll never find me here!

**Angelique (whispers):** What are we hiding from, boyfriend?

**Pinhead (screaming):** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!

THE END.


End file.
